Social media impacts everything these days, and your divorce is no exception. In fact, here are some sobering statistics on the use of social media in divorce proceedings:
- 81% of attorneys discover social networking evidence worth presenting in court
- 66% of cases involving divorce employ Facebook as one of their principal evidence sources
- 1/3 of all legal action in divorces cases is precipitated by affairs conducted online
(Source: Family Law: Social Media Evidence in Divorce Cases, National Law Review, February 14, 2019.)
Follow these top five social media rules, and you will help prevent your Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or other social media accounts from wreaking havoc in your divorce.
1. Don’t Delete What You’ve Already Posted
It is next to impossible to truly delete social media posts forever. They live on, especially when expert technicians are involved to retrieve them for an attorney to use in a divorce or child custody hearing. Someone who may want to use posts against you have probably already saved screenshots of them too. So just don’t delete anything. In fact, deleting posts you want to keep anyone from finding could be used against you.
What you can do is set your account or your posts to private, and be cautious with your posts from here forward.
2. Don’t Post about Drugs, Alcohol, or Questionable Check-ins
It is important, especially if you are in a high-conflict divorce or custody battle, to avoid posting anything about drug use or alcohol use. Don’t let your friends tag you in photos where you are holding a beer or other alcoholic beverage. It does not matter if it is a holiday party, a family picnic, or game day. Do not allow new photos of you to show up online when drugs or alcohol is involved. Further, do not check-in online if you are going to bars or restaurants serving alcohol.
The safest bet is to avoid all check-ins online and to limit your photos that appear online to wholesome activities.
3. Don’t Flaunt New Purchases
While your divorce is pending, money you spend matters. And what you post on social media about spending money matters. If you expect to receive spousal support or child support, it does not help if you post about extravagant new purchases like shoes, gaming consoles, season tickets, handbags, vacations, and more. And if you anticipate paying child support or spousal support, your spending could raise questions about appropriate amounts of support. Appearances matter when you are going through a divorce.
If your case proceeds to a full hearing, attorneys on both sides will utilize every detail available to advocate for their respective clients. Don’t make it easy for the other side.
4. Don’t Ridicule Your Soon-to-be Ex Spouse
Speaking poorly about your soon-to-be ex spouse is never a good idea, especially if that person is the mother or father of your children. It sets a bad example for the children, it makes you look bad, and I can guarantee it will be used against you by the other side in your divorce proceeding. There may be orders in place restraining you from disparaging the other party, and entering into a Shared Parenting Plan requires an ability to communicate and to refrain from this type of behavior.
You will have frustrations you want to express during your divorce, and you should keep that off of social media. Vent to a trusted friend or family member instead, and always do that when and where your children will not hear the conversation.
5. Don’t Post about New Relationships
No matter how much fun you’re having or how in love you may be, posting on social media about a new relationship while your divorce is pending is very very bad. Seriously, just don’t do it. At best, it gets your soon-to-be ex riled up and upset. At worst, it could be used against you as evidence of adultery.
Divorces often are messy, and social media behavior gets people in trouble time and time again. Start with these five rules to ensure your Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter accounts don’t prevent you from achieving your goals within your divorce.